Not the Author of Confusion...

As I sit here at my computer trying to make sense of what I want to write I can hear the cries of my sweet baby girl trying to put herself to sleep.  As I listen I realize that in this moment I can relate so much with her.  In my mind I feel like I am crying out- there is confusion, worry, fear, doubt, and anxiety- 

"Does no one hear me?  Will no one rescue me?" 

Except in my own head the thoughts don't seem to be quite so clear and precise.  It's more like a garbled mess of thoughts each trying to fight their way to the front only to be trampled by the next thought trying to jockey for position.  The inside of my brain must look like my kitchen right now- upturned, messy, and in need of attention.

As I spoke with my mother-in-law yesterday about the many trains of thought setting course in my mind these days she reminded me of one very important truth-

"God is Not the author of confusion."

So as I sit here in my little kitchen- blogging for the first time in ages- hoping that by writing down some of my thoughts I can get some perspective- I can hear God's still small voice calling me to him reminding me-

"...do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on...look at the birds of the air:  they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself..."

The baby is quieting down now- she is tired- she needs her rest- in this quiet I will rest too. I will rest in the truth and in the knowledge that if "I will seek him with all my heart- then I will find him" - For Jesus Christ has promised-

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

My prayer is that I will hold tight to these truths- that they will replace the thoughts that seem to be holding my mind hostage at times forcing me to worry about our future- our tomorrow.  That I will "seek FIRST the kingdom of God."  That I will not let fear over take me, but rest in the fact that "God gave me a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

I know he hears my cry -he will be faithful to answer.  He always is.


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